The BackUp Plan
by AnaElise
Summary: ...And even though we are absurdly careful, and take all the necessary precautions, there is still that chance—that one in a million chance—that Fiona could wind up pregnant and we would have a child together.


As a spy there's always a back-up plan. And then there's a back-up plan for the back-up plan. If a spy doesn't have several contingency plans they can be sure not to live much longer.

That's not to say that improvisation is not important, because not even the best tactical teams can plan for everything, but it pays to be prepared and tends to keep the body count to a minimum.

So it is with these thoughts in mind that I plan out all possible scenarios of my time in Miami.

I'm hoping not to stay in my hometown for too long, but I have to go over what I will do if I can't get my burn notice lifted quickly… or at all.

Without a credit score or a decent résumé, it's going to be pretty hard to live in mainstream society. But I know I'll manage.

With the friends I have and the skills I've accumulated, I figure I can make myself useful doing something. Maybe Sam and I could start a security consultant firm, doing the same thing we normally do for clients only we'd pay taxes. Not my kind of thing, normally, but I can live as a legitimate citizen if I put my mind to it.

But as I wake up next to Fiona for the umpteenth time since my "stay" in Miami I have wonder what it would be like to continue to wake up beside her.

I have told Fi several times that I can't be in a relationship with her, or with anyone, while I'm still a spy. Fiona is an amazing woman and I would fight the world if it meant she was safe, but I cannot _give up_ the world for her. There is just so much good I can do that I can't give up on my duty for just one person, even if that person is Fi.

But given our…nightly activities, there might be one other person I would give up my life for. And even though we are absurdly careful, and take all the necessary precautions, there is still that chance—that one in a million chance—that Fiona could wind up pregnant and we would have a child together.

I don't like to think about these things, but as I said, a spy has to be prepared for all possible scenarios.

So here I am, staring up at the ceiling in the loft, in the early hours of the morning as Fi sleeps peacefully beside me.

If Fi were to become pregnant there's no question that she would keep it. To even suggest abortion to her would only get you killed. With adoption, she might understand where you're coming from but only after she has thrown a few punches.

Fiona has a strong sense of familial responsibility. Maybe it has to do with how she grew up in a large household, or maybe it has to do with losing her sister, but Fi believes that you have a responsibility to your family to always be there for them, no matter what, and that includes an unplanned child.

It's not that I don't also hold these values, it's just that Fi and I take different directions to achieve them. Fi loves her family and will stand by their side and do everything in her power to protect them.

I, on the other hand, will protect my family by staying as far away as possible.

My mom and brother can attest to this.

Well, at least the staying away part.

But I don't think I would be able to stay away from my child, even if my intention was to protect them.

I've walked away from a lot of people in my life, and there have only been a select few that I have missed or thought about afterwards, but to leave a child, my own innocent child, I don't think I could do it.

Especially if it was a girl.

Fi would have to skin me alive before I ever admitted it but I've always wanted a daughter; a beautiful baby girl that has Fiona's fiery green eyes that I could spoil and give the world to.

Of course if she ever turned out anything like Fi I would have to follow her around with an automatic weapon, shooting any man that so much as looked at her.

But I would do that for her, because she would be my little girl.

I've never really known why I've always wanted a daughter. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I never had a sister.

Growing up it was only Nate and me in our house, and I was never really close to my mom.

In school I always tried to stay away from girls because I never wanted them to ask to meet my parents or see where I lived.

It's not like they ever tried though, sometimes my dad would leave bruises on my face and no one really wanted to know where they came from.

Maybe that's the real reason I've never wanted a son, maybe if I had a girl, I wouldn't turn into my father.

I feel him sometimes, inside me. Sometimes, if I'm really mad, or I'm yelling, I can just hear him in my own voice and know that he would be saying the same thing that I am.

The worst time was when I hit Fi on a job. I was so worried about her being with that woman, that she would hurt her, and when I got there I did the only thing I could think of, I hit her to save our cover.

I've hit Fi before when we were sparring or if she was angry and throwing punches. It's never been overly hard, but when I hit her on that job I was just so worried and angry at myself for not seeing that woman for who she really was that I just put more force into the slap than I had to and Fi knew it.

The look on her face was what threw me over the edge. She looked angry, but underneath that I saw hurt. Fi has had a violent past when it comes to men, most of it she has initiated intentionally but not all of it. She's never told me about it directly but I see it in her eyes any time we take on a case of woman being raped or assaulted by a man.

She looked like I betrayed her.

I'll never make that mistake again.

Not that Fi would let me. We "sparred" a few days after that job and the bruises she left on me were there for weeks.

That is one of the many reasons why Fi would be the only women I would ever consider having a child with. She keeps me in line, and even if we had a boy I know I would never lay a hand on him.

First reason being I will do anything in my power not to become my father, and the second reason being that Fi would kill me without a second thought if I even tried.

Odd as it sounds, Fi keeps me grounded. She keeps me from going too deep inside myself, getting too caught up in a case or a plan. She keeps me guessing and is always making me improvise.

That's why I think we could make the parenthood thing work. It would be a major struggle and God knows that we would be at each other's throats a lot, but our child, be it a boy or girl, would be cared for and loved.

We would be unconventional, and our child would learn how to shoot a gun before they picked up a video game controller but they would be ours, and unconventional is how we live our lives.

"What are you thinking about?"

I look over at Fi, whose head is tilted in my direction and her eyes stare at me with a mixture of curiosity and sleep.

I smile at her. "Just coming up with some contingency plans for this case that I'm working."

Her eyes flash with the excitement of a possible case. "Need any help?"

I thought for a moment. Did I need her help? I had managed in the past without her.

And yet, as I look in her eyes, the same eyes that I hope our child will have, I can't imagine a future without her.

"Always, Fi."

She seemed to recognize from my voice that we might not be talking about the same things, but with Fiona and I words have always been an indulgence, so even if she thought something was different she didn't comment. She just kissed me sweetly on the lips. But the kisses soon escalated and my last real coherent thought was that I should probably start thinking some more about possible baby names.

**Author's Note: I'll be honest, I really don't particularly like this story, but I had this idea and it wouldn't leave me alone. And then after I wrote it, it just sat in my documents folder and I didn't know what else I could do with it. So, here it is, for my own piece of mind if nothing else. Enjoy.**

**Once again this is a oneshot, mostly because multichapter stories make me squimish.**


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